My breastfeeding journey: part 2: How i survived breastfeeding

Some might be offended that I am using the word 'survived.'  Sorry, but that's how I feel! I didn't think I would make it without having to use formula. I didn't think our routines would survive, because it wasn't sustainable. Turns out, only some people are able to have a tongue and lip tie release and then be perfectly fine. Most people need additional training and help. We were in the latter group. Here are some key things I learned:

• Babies have been with their tongue and lip ties since 12 weeks gestation. They have been practicing swallowing amniotic fluid in the womb repeatedly and have a developed motor plan. This will take time to re-learn and undo.
• The surgical portion of remediating tongue and lip ties is the first step- an important one.
• The next step is making sure they don't re-attach, which is achieved by performing stretches and movement.
• After that, you need to work on re-training, which can be taught by a knowledgable lactation consultant or knowledgable SLP. I say this because I spoke to lactation consultants and I am an SLP and was not told about this or learned about it in school. Luckily, I took courses online that taught me how to perform these exercises.
• NOT DONE! Then, you need body work. This can be performed by a chiropractor or someone trained in cranio-sacral massage and movement. Why? Well, you need to understand that tethered oral tissue pulls on muscle groups and makes certain facial and neck muscles tighten. BUT all muscle fascia are connected from the tongue down to the toes, so body work involves loosening tight muscles and allowing the body to get back into alignment. 

It is soo so so so important to make sure all of these steps are completed, even if you think things are fine after a release, I would make sure you checked all these boxes. The consequences of not doing so are far-reaching and surprising. Even things like crowding of teeth and a child's future of dentition are affected. Children can become picky eaters, have articulation and speech issues, can develop sleep apnea resulting in poor sleep quality, which can affect how they learn and attend during the day. It snowballs slowly over time.

The earlier these things are fixed, the better the outcome for the child will be. The tissues in the palate are not yet formed, so it is easiest to mold the palate now before those bones fuse together. 

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how i am surviving

This is my feeding station. I don't go here to feed exclusively every single time, but it is often. It's a hot mess. I'll explain a few of the things I have here and why. 

• Haaka: I use when I'm pumping to get milk from the opposite breast. It doesn't work for breastfeeding because my son moves and kicks it off of me and milk goes everywhere. 
• Probiotic Drops: I put directly on my nipple to get probiotics into his system to help with some of the gassiness
• Nipple Cream: Put it on after each Feeding to soothe sore nipples
• Coconut Oil: Same as nipple cream, but it also is anti-fungal which helps prevent/treat thrush. I even use it after bath time on baby's skin!
• Z-vibe: To help us do our oral motor exercises (no vibration under 12 months)
• Breastfeeding pillow: Essential for positioning!! My baby rarely feeds well without out. I originally had a much cuter one, but it just wasn't working! A friend told me to get this one and it has been a lifesaver! 
• Breast pump: For when i'm too tired to feed and I want my husband to help. I also used it to help build up my supply after it started dwindling since baby wasn't latched right, he couldn't drain the breast and because of that my body was being told it didn't need as much milk. The beast pump reminded my body that I did need more milk- and it worked! Make sure you check with your insurance before you buy your own! They usually come fully covered. The wire free on was NOT covered however, and I would totally upgrade next time to that one! 
• Bibs: Baby gets messy sometimes, especially when I use the nipple shield. I loved these because they double as a teething bib! 
• Nipple Shield: To protect my breasts from the friction and help them heal. It also gets far enough into the back of the mouth of the baby to help them get a good latch, making breastfeeding easier. 
• Nursing Pads: If I can't have a milk collection device, this keeps my shirt or bra dry as I nurse. 
• NOT SHOWN: Milk Savers: To catch milk from opposite breast while I breastfeed, which I later transfer into a bottle. 

Mentally and emotionally I was drained. Picture this: Baby is screaming and flailing their little body, sliding off the breast. You know they are hungry and are ready to serve, you shove the breast into their mouth, making sure you do the thing where you line the nipple to the nose, you pull them in quick. CHIN FIRST (I hear in my head). The latch isn't good- and it hurts! So, you try again. You unlatch, then re-latch. Same problem. Now he's on and he's eating... for about 15 seconds. The baby is screaming again and you are screaming too. "IT'S HERE! IT'S IN YOUR MOUTH! WHY AREN'T YOU EATING?!" Also you're tired and hungry. Did I drink enough water today? This was my reality for awhile. It's heartbreaking to watch, but it's so much harder when it's you. Your baby is struggling to eat and it's your job and your job alone to provide them with that food, and you feel like you're doing a bad job. In tears I would say, "I get why people give up and bottle feed, this is so hard!" ..."But he is gaining weight!" people would say. I was relieved at that, but you just know in your gut when something isn't right. I needed help. Fast. 

SURVIVING is as easy as 1, 2, 3:

1. Having a support system: This has been invaluable to surviving. Otherwise, I might have given up a long time ago. Facebook support groups, Kellymom.com, friends or family who have breastfed, and seeking out lactation and doula support. This was by far, the biggest factor in surviving breastfeeding and not giving up. You need people who understand, who have been there and come out the other side. If I didn't have this system, I wouldn't have known about the nipple shield or the special pillow that made all the difference. Talking to people also made me feel validated- I wasn't crazy, I'm not doing a bad job, I'm actually doing a great job! You need cheerleaders!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      I think this is hard sometimes when the people closest to you don't believe in you. That was thankfully not the case. Although, I got a small taste of it when my mom said, "When you're tired of this and ready to wean" ...and I almost lost it. Wean? What the hell are you talking about? I've been doing all this hard work and figured out all this stuff and you think i'm going to give up now? No way!
2. Education: Without being armed with knowledge, without knowing that there's something that can be done, without knowing what is normal and what is not, it would be almost impossible to keep this up! Knowledge is power and every time I learned something, I felt a renewed sense of, "I could do this!" 
3. Tools: You NEED the right tools. My most prized tool has been nipple relief items. I don't think I could continue without the nipple shield and the breastfeeding pillow. The cooling gel pads were also really helpful initially.

                                                                                                                                                                    The nipple shield can be a controversial item. Basically, it shouldn't be used unless you have to because if you need a nipple shield, there's more to the issue and you should be seeing a specialist to help remediate the issue instead of using the shield as a crutch. It does NOT decrease supply. This has been disproven and might have been true when they were made of a different material. The silicone is thin enough that the milk has no difficulty getting though.

I agree with the controversy and I will say I always try breast first, then if I need to add the shield I do. If I can remove the shield partway through feeding, I do. That being said, I think it is absolutely necessary and would not have made it this far without it. 

Click Here to read Part 3 of my breastfeeding journey !