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Working mom, is that the life I want?

10/9/2020

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The part about maternity leave I hated most was the part where it ended. I am a worker. That is just who I am. I work no matter what, much to my husband's dismay.  Leaving my baby was hard though. Going back to a job and coworkers I adore made it a little bit easier, but I know I'm not the only one who considered quitting their job to become a stay at home mom. 
Being a mom is a new type of job that requires your physical presence. I had a moral and ethical dilemma each and every morning. Go to work and leave my baby or stay home and shirk my responsibilities. Here were my pros and cons of going back to work... 

pros

  • Make money, to support your child so they have everything they need
  • You get to socialize with real adults
  • You get a break from the mom life

cons

  • You are literally working to pay someone else to watch your child. 
  • You miss socializing with your own baby
  • You miss special moments with your baby that you cannot get back

A lot of people would say... well really they sleep for like 3-4 hours a day so you're really only missing 2-3 hours of awake time. 
But here's the thing... When baby is sleeping is when:
  1. The laundry gets done
  2. The kitchen is cleaned
  3. You can cook food
  4. You clean the bathrooms
  5. You weed the garden
  6. You play with the dog

If you aren't home.... when does that stuff get done? Oh yeah, when you get home from work. But, wait? Isn't that the time you're supposed to be with your baby because you were working all day? 

Sigh....


And then moms get sad. They get overworked, cranky and tired. That's when we order take out. That's when we invest in a cleaning person (or just let the house get messy), that's when you hire a landscaper. And there goes some of the money you just made going back to work! 

Thanks a lot, America!

Which brings me to my next topic, hating America's maternity leave. I am a believer in investing time and energy in youth yield the best societal results long term. Why is it that America's elite who are running things can't get that through their thick skull? Now to be fair, the multi million dollar companies like Netflix and Google and Apple are pretty good about that I hear, but America's educational system? Probably the worst maternity leave. It's actually just "sick time" and sometimes, they even cap that! For example. My sick leave was 40 days (that I had to save for years to get) and even though I had 47, I couldn't use them all, I could only use 40. That is my employer's personal policy- not every teachers. 

Then my friend who works in the cosmetic industry get 6 months paid maternity leave. ummm WHAT? How does it make sense that people who work with kids get the worst maternity leave? Well it's because schools are funded by government and don't make money and companies are profitable and can afford to do things like pay for moms to stay home.

In order for anything to change, we need to shift as a society with leaders who insist upon fair treatment. Investing in moms is an investment in the future of the country. Other countries have already figured this out....

  • Hungary tops the list of best maternity leaves in the world. Maternity leave begins 3 weeks before baby is born and continues for about half the year, with an option for three years off at 70% salary for first 18 months.
  • Estonia moms get 85 weeks (about a year and a half) or maternity leave at full pay.
  • Iceland moms AND dads are given nine months total maternity leave at 80 percent of their salary. Each parent is required to take three months off from work.

​Let's see... required to take time with their kids, full pay, moms and dads... other countries seem to really have it figured out. A UNICEF 2019 report put America LAST on the list of countries with benefits for new parents. 

                     To get the full list of top 10 countries for paid family leave, click here


And then we have a society on the verge of a mental breakdown. They are overworked and they need to be with their families.  Kids need to be raised by parents, not babysitters! They need to sit around a table and talk to their parents and siblings. They shouldn't be eating junk food in the car in between running around. What happened to those good old days? 

Tell me your thoughts in the topic. It's something I'm passionate about and feel so strongly that we need to find a way to keep moms at home with their kids as much as humanly possible. 
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