5 Things you should never say to a pregnant woman

Reflecting back on pregnancy, I realized that the sooner people know you are pregnant, the sooner the comments begin. With that comes a lot of feeling about those comments.....

1. One thing I really grew to hate was people saying, "How are you feeling?" It was a nice question, but after you hear it 10 times a day, every day, for months, it gets old. I equally found it hard to be mad about this (I mean, people are just being nice!), but the fact remained that it annoyed me. I thought about it a lot and I figured people just don't know what else to say.  Then when others around me were pregnant, I realized I started doing the same thing!! I had to stop myself right there and figure out something else.

What I liked better: I realized that what didn't bother me was when people asked specific questions. Like instead of how are you feeling, asking if the nausea subsided yet, or did you pick out a name, is your nursery finished, are you excited to start maternity leave.... things like that! I guess I just wanted something to say besides, 'yeah so far so good'. 

2. "You popped!" I found to be almost equally irritating! I got this the second someone noticed I had a belly, then I got it again if I haven't seen someone in awhile. I think this bothered me because you notice changes in yourself before anyone else notices so you're like... duh i've been like this! What really got to me was when I was over 30 weeks pregnant and someone says this! Okay, I obviously "popped" a very long time ago and at this point the baby belly is obvious. Why are you pointing this out now?! So I found out 'popped' means different things to different people. Basically it means... haven't seen you in awhile and you grew. I was over it. 

What I liked better: You have such a cute pregnant belly!! The complements never got old! I will miss them dearly. No one is ever this excited for your stomach to grow so embrace the belly love! I also loved when people asked or talked about baby movement. This is tricky though because I know not everyone's baby moves a lot and that question might make some people feel anxious. 

3. "Get all your sleep now while you can!" I hate that almost threat that comes with this phrase. As if no one has mentioned before that you don't get a lot of sleep with a newborn. Thank you for the sound words of advice. This of course is useless advice. Even if I slept great all pregnancy, you need a certain amount of sleep every day so once the baby is born it's not like sleeping well at month 5 I stored up enough energy to get me through day 3 of baby's arrival. It's just stupid and annoying. Please don't say it people. 

What I liked better: Literally saying nothing would have been better than this comment in my opinion, but if you must, I loved when the occasional person would say something like "don't worry about the sleep thing, you'll get through it it's not so bad" I feel like encouragement was better than useless fluff. 

4. "Make sure you enjoy yourself now" was also a comment I disliked. Way to get me excited for baby! Implying that after a baby comes all the joy will be sucked out of your life isn't really something most people want to hear. In fact, this really made my husband mad because he was already stressed about life after baby and comments like this sent his anxiety through the roof. Who gets to deal with that aftermath? Me... 

What I liked better: Asking if you are planning any trips before (or after) baby arrives is much better. Or words of encouragement, like 'don't let baby stop you from enjoying your lives, just bring them with you!' The people that say this to me have embraced parenthood and travel (even internationally) successfully with children. Empower people to do things, don't discourage them!

5. "Are you ready?" Okay. Tell me who is actually ready for a baby? I mean mentally. I have never met someone who said they were ready to be parents. Ready for everything in their life to change. It's a little scary and nerve-wracking at the end of pregnancy when it's your first baby. How does one answer this question? Don't stress out new parents to be! 

What I liked better: "Did you get everything from your registry?" or "Did you get the clothes all clean and ready?" "Did your furniture arrive yet?" Maybe something specifically about the preparation of items for a baby would be better. I just know when asked, I felt like they were asking if I was mentally prepared to become a parent. This is not only hard to answer, but begins to stress me out! I truly don't think anyone can be ready for that.. it's just something that happens I think!

What are some questions you hated getting?!